Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
