This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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