my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
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I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher