So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize