she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize