apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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