Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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