Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
