Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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