So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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