it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
