Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize