Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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