he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize