So drunk its hurt
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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