You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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