This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.