I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize