"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
