I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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