Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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