We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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