note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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