I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.