ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
are you so shy because you have an std?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack