When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?