Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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