My liver just broke up with me...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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