i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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