I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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