apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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