i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
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Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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