This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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