We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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