I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize