i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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