It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize