dude i'm inner monologue high
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You're a waste of cheezeits
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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