pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dignity is for republicans.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize