remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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