Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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