Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him