is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today