it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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