I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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