apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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