Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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