apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize