my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
