i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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