I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
