why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
