You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
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she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
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