windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
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Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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